'Paramore' Singer Hayley Williams Credits One Thing For Keeping Her Alive Amid Depression
After conquering the stage, Hayley Williams is winning her battle with depression, thanks to this one being that has motivated her to go home everyday.
Before her solo album "Petals for Armor" hits the charts, Hayley appeared on Apple's Beats 1 and spoke with Zane Lowe about her mental illness and her reason why she is still here.
The 31-year-old Paramore frontwoman revealed that during the making and touring of her band's 2017 album "After Laughter," she got intensely depressed that she almost took her own life. However, she found her reason to keep going even after all the trials she had to go through.
"My dog is the reason I'm alive because he would've been waiting on me to get home, no matter what," Williams emotionally recalled.
Because of her dog, who became the closest being other than her family, she was able to recover and turn her past into an inspiration instead.
Currently, Hayley is still in the process of recovering from her mental issues, but she has already noticed great changes that makes her somehow feel better.
"It didn't become a breeze overnight or anything, and it's been years, and it's still not a breeze, but it's so rich, and now that I'm taking account of all these feelings and I'm feeling all of them, there's this beautiful rainbow versus just the deep end," Williams explained.
What Cause Her Grief?
As the discussion went on, Hayley revealed the reason why her mental illness got even worse.
After her grandmother's death, she questioned if it was really worth it to love people since she kept on losing them.
"Even in the best-case scenario is I fall in love, we have a life together, and then we lose one or the other," Hayley said.
Because of the continuous grief-causing incidents, she had to undergo "rough" intensive therapy after Paramore's 2018 tour.
According to the singer, she saw herself as a little girl who was too young to understand everything while she was sabotaging herself. Hayley said that she even joked about it through Paramore's songs, but it was not fun living with depression.
Finally, after a few years of contemplating whether she wanted to continue or not, she turned her weakness into strength. Now, her fans will be able to hear her story through her upcoming album.
Inspired Hayley
Being vulnerable and experiencing such hardship inspired Hayley to create "Petals for Armor" -- her debut solo album which is due to be released on Feb. 6.
Per Hayley, the album title came from the idea of how she saw vulnerability as a shield.
"Your world could be a stage, or your world could be your job and your apartment. It is subjective, completely... I also feel more protected than I've ever felt going out, because of the fact, what is there to hide really?" Hayley bravely revealed.
Her fans already heard a glimpse of the said vulnerability after she released two tracks, "Simmer" ("a dark, twisted pop curveball" as what she described it) and "Leave it Alone."
Now, fans have to wait and listen to the rest of the album once it is released.
