Josh Groban's TikTok Presence Shows Us He is CONCLUSIVELY Not Real!!! Here are 8 Videos to Prove It!
Josh Groban is an enigma, an enigma with the voice of an angel. Also, as I have mentioned multiple times, and I mean multiple, that Josh Groban is just a figment of our cultural imagination. For those that are not caught up: Josh Groban is my favorite celebrity, but I am CONFIDENT that he doesn't exist. He's too perfect while also maintaining the perfect balance of known and unknown to be real. I think one of the most topical pieces of evidence that point towards Groban's lack of actual existence is what he's been up to now: TikTok.
Maybe he's working on a project that hasn't been announced. Maybe he will come back soon with a bang, but right now, Groban, in accordance with my hypothesis, is recharging. He is staying home, strengthening the logic behind his Tinkerbell-style existence so that he can come back with the perfect power he is known for. However, if Groban just vanished off the face of the earth, wouldn't that raise some eyebrows and threaten the very do-you-believe logic that keeps him alive? The recharge is necessary. SO, Groban has turned to TikTok.
Josh Groban is spending his recharge time responding to TikToks across cyberspace. Doesn't it make sense that if you were trying to convince the cultural zeitgeist that you exist you would RESPOND to TikToks making them think wow, this real person replied to me? Here are eight TikTok response videos made by Josh Groban that conclusively prove that Josh Groban is not real.
1. Happy Birthday
@joshgroban##duet with @dredimura a little birthday love for ##rocktober HAPPY B-DAY MARIA!! ♬ original sound - Dre DiMura
Okay, you know the TOP REASON I don't think Josh Groban is real: he's too good for this world! Do you know any celebrities that would respond to an online request to sing happy birthday for a massive fan on TikTok? NO! HE CAN'T BE REAL! He's good good.
2. All the Cat Serenade Feels
@joshgroban##duet with @leigh_mcnasty this Phantom/Cats mashup is almost TOO beautiful. ♬ original sound - Leigh McClendon
Josh Groban, and what I mean by that is obviously the figment of the imagination that Josh Groban is, is the so respectful and open emotionally. I'm just saying, watch him listen attentively to and emotionally respond to this beautiful cat serenade. A man is serenading a cat and Josh Groban is entranced. This can't be real, right?
3. ALWAYS THE PUNCHLINE
@joshgroban ##duet with @leigh_mcnasty this Phantom/Cats mashup is almost TOO beautiful. ♬ original sound - Leigh McClendon
I have mentioned on multiple occasions that Josh Groban is always the joke, but that's strange because it seems like he's only the joke. Even in this TikTok (WHICH HE RESPONDS TO IN THE BEST SPIT-TAKE), he is STILL the punchline. Once again: not real.
4. This...Short Film?
@joshgroban##duet with @hotgina1 A three second short film on what trying to get mundane work done with ADD feels like. I will be submitting it to the…wait what was I talking about just now ♬ original sound - Hot Gina Official
Only a figment of the imagination, someone who is absolutely unreal, could create what he has captioned a "short film". What is happening here? What is going on? I think this one may have been a glitch in Groban's fabric of reality. (Definitely still entertaining though...I've watched it roughly 5000 times).
5. Animals and Harmonies
@joshgroban ##duet with @musical.breakdown catch us in Babe: The Musical, coming soon to a dinner theater (no pork) near you! (My followers are talented as heck) ♬ Funny Song - Cavendish Music
Okay, so it seems like whoever is in charge of keeping Josh Groban seem real is really into animals and singing duets. This TikTok is an amazing combination of both! There are pigs and...a person singing like Josh Groban and then...ACTUAL JOSH GROBAN! You don't need a PI for this one. This is simply unreal.
6. THIS MOMENT WITH MICHAEL BUBLE?!
@joshgroban##duet with @michaelbuble love you back, Mike. Hi Tik Tok. ##tour ##music ##towels ##tiktok ##hiccup ♬ Angels - Josh Groban
I'm going to need a moment. Josh Groban just dueted a video with Michael Buble IN WHICH Josh Groban tells us he keeps underware, a hammer, and his old album on his dressing room table and MICHAEL BUBLE points out he keeps the same Josh Groban album in his room Rather than legitimizing Josh Groban, am I the only one that's starting to feel a bit suspicious about Michael Buble?
7. The Coolest Thing
@joshgroban ##stitch with @cleoabram Cool Broadway treasure alert!! I’ve never shown this before! ##greatcomet ##russianjournal ##scribbling ##broadway ##theater ♬ Sunny Day - Ted Fresco
We have previously examined this TikTok in a previous article, but the arguement still stands. Josh Groban exists only in the realm of his public appearances. HE ISN'T REAL!
8. HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT!!!!
@joshgroban ##stitch with @karalynndunton Been here for 3 days and already questioning my own reality thanks Tik Tok! ##googlyeyes ##existence ##forestthoughts ♬ original sound - Josh Groban
SOMEONE AGREES WITH ME. I'M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THIS ONE HERE!!!
That is all for this segement of Josh Groban isn't real. Hopefully I have swayed more of you over to the side of the truth. I will be back with more.
