6 Major Issues Mr. Miyagi Would Not Approve In Netflix's 'Cobra Kai' Warning! Absolutely No Mercy Was Shown In This Hot Take
As fun as we have had returning to The Karate Kid with the Netflix series Cobra Kai, what with its ridiculous over the top middle-aged rivalries, overly dramatic teen angst, and the return of some old favorite characters, when one really dissects this nostalgic Easter egg of a series a few issues kick you right in the face.
With season four now streaming Enstarz is going to take some of these problems to the mat and a warning for the uninitiated, we are showing no mercy as we go into spoiler territory to break down a few of the more glaring problems with the show.
Mr. Miyagi Would Not Approve
Throughout the series, Danny LaRusso is of the mindset that he has learned everything his friend Mr. Miyagi had to teach him. Though at every turn, he seems to fall back into his old ways of getting into conflict with his old nemesis Johnny Lawrence. Most of what he learned was to walk away from a fight, until you can't.
Instead, Danny lets his enemies get the best of him like he always has, only fueling the conflict and dragging his family into the mix.
It's Not All About You
So, let's get this straight, are martial artists the only group that exists in the world of Cobra Kai? Of course not. Which begs the question, how have the parents of the other non-karate trained kids not having a PTA meeting about the rash of brawls happening on school grounds? Last we checked if a child has his back broken after falling off of a balcony, or say, another student stashes up another's arm, that is assault with intent. Mind you, there were suspensions and Robbie did time in juvenile detention, but where are the affluent, sue crazy parents who would take the two karate schools task.
One would think all of this ridiculous behavior would have been nipped in the bud around, say, season two. We've learned this season that the school has security cameras. All this would be used in a case against, well, everyone.
Where Are Your Parents?
Not to beat a dead horse here, but do any of these kids have parents? Who is paying for these Karate lessons? Why do they never show up to class to see how their child is progressing? Does nobody notice the change in attitude now that their kid is a bully or questing when their child has a black eye out of nowhere?
Guess these are issues that will be addressed in season five.
Johnny Be Bad
In the course of the series, we have seen Johnny implement some less than ethical training techniques while training his students.
-Making children work out in a cement mixer. Yeah, most concrete and masonry products contain large amounts of sand. When you inhale the dust, silica particles scar your lungs, causing a disabling, irreversible, and incurable lung disease called silicosis. ... More than one million U.S. workers are at risk of developing silicosis.
-Eagle Fang works out in a dilapidated warehouse full of mold, dust, hazardous materials, and sharp metal debris. These kids wouldn't be able to breathe let alone avoid tetanus.
-Johnny made kids, including Danny's daughter Samantha, jump from one building to another with only a pile of mattresses to break their fall. A real "what if?" scenario if there ever was one.
-With no medical training to speak of, Johnny took it upon himself to create a contraption that would help Miguel to walk after his spine injury. Not a doctor here but we're pretty sure stretching out a damaged vertebrate using a series of pulleys and slapdash harnesses is not how a physical therapist would go about this.
We could go on, but you get the picture.
The Next Karate Kid
In an ill-fated continuation of the original films, Mr. Miyagi took on another troubled student after Danny. Julie, played by Hilary Swank, was sort of a blip in The Karate Kid franchise. Though the question remains, they brought back lunatic millionaire Terry Silver and Swank doesn't even get a chance to reprise her role?
Honestly, when Danny is at Miyagi's grave at the end of season four, that would have been a great opportunity to bring her back into the fray. I'm sure the female students could use a mentor they can relate to and maybe learn a style of Karate that would better suit the Miyagi-Do mantra of being cool and collected.
You're missing a golden opportunity here, showrunners.
You're Not The Only Game In Town
This might just be a wild idea for a twist ending to the whole Karate school rivalry ordeal, but was anyone else rooting for the other, unnamed schools who were entered in The All Valley Tournament?
Think about it. What if Miyagi-Do, Eagle Fang, and Cobra Kai got their lunch eaten by these dark horse competitors, completely negating all of the bullshit and pain these other schools have caused throughout the show.
This would never happen, of course, but a boy can dream can't he?
Listen, we have had some fun today poking holes in Cobra Kai and the copious amount of legal trouble everyone would be in, but at the end of the day, it's still a fun series warts and all. But if we have learned anything from this discussion it's this... y'all need group therapy and where the hell is Hilary Swank?!
