Reddit Post About Wife Asking Her Husband To Pay Her To Have Their Baby Starts Online Battle - What's Crazy About This?
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Leave it to Twitter to blow up drama from Reddit and turn it into an actual cultural debate.
One corner of Twitter, as well as the whole of the r/Relationships group on Reddit, is debating the arrangement of one couple today, and trying to decide whether she's crazy, he's crazy, or if it's their relationship that's the problem.
It all started when Reddit user husbandmaybefather (a throwaway account made to ask this specific question, no doubt) posted about this new arrangement his wife wants to make with him now that they're trying to have a baby.
The user, who described his relationship with the woman in question as "essentially common law," has been with his girlfriend for six years, and the two recently discussed having a baby. Not taking anything too seriously yet, the woman simply stopped taking her birth control.
The important thing to understand about this couple going into it is that, aside from splitting their expenses 50/50, they keep their finances entirely separate; he says they're both very career motivated high-earners, and this is an arrangement they're both happy with. After they had this discussion about a baby, though, he noticed her acting a little strange - then, one night, she came to him with a fully prepared binder, explaining that she'd done the math and she thinks that it would be fair for him to compensate her what she would have made during the portion of her maternity leave that is not paid for by her workplace.
You can read the full rundown here:
The opinions on this one have been mixed. On the one hand, many agree with the original poster, saying that the whole business of splitting the financials up this way rubs them the wrong way. Others have fired back and said that this is necessary given the extremely careful way they seem to have arranged their financials, and that she's being smart. Still others have looked at that arrangement, plus the fact that he's checking for pregnancy tests in the trash and she's having secret calls with her sister, and said that the whole relationships sends up red flags for them.
yep. Also look at the work she has done in compiling that folder on how to split the housework. Girl, get that folder out there.
— Siobhán McSweeney (@siobhni) March 5, 2022
Yep - and why does he keep calling her his wife when they aren’t married? It’s not as though other terms aren’t more relevant (especially in this case!) eg partner
— Fran Quility (@GreenSw13) March 5, 2022
Considering everything else is 50/50 and appears to be consensualy so, what's the problem... However, is he not hoisting several red flags "I checked the garbage for tests" "she's on the phone to her sister" pic.twitter.com/2YDTIV1RxP
— Lainey (@Elaine3600) March 5, 2022
Others agree with the idea of compensation, but disagree with her math: One user suggested that she should only be compensated a portion of what she usually makes, but women have quickly fired back saying the idea smacks of sexism, and doesn't take into account the work that the human body has to do to actually make a baby.
Others are saying that, once they have the baby, it'd really be smarter to merge their finances regardless.
You gotta think of these things! I mean this is pretty clinical. In our sit. it's not so much a case of compensation, as time to merge the money. You're gonna be a family, pool the resources, share the leftovers. Agree what to do re childcare n work and budget your family life
— Jenni Robinson Art🖌 (@JenRobinsonArt) March 5, 2022
The debate is still ongoing - we just hope everything eventually works out for the couple in question.