Quarterback Cam Newton shared some of his thoughts on women in a recent interview on the Million Dollaz Worth of Game podcast. Now, as a woman who decidedly doesn't, "know when to be quiet," I have some thoughts.

While his interview fills me with the kind of rage that could be best articulated by one long yell as I throw my keyboard out the window of this very tall building, I will be bottling that to the best of my ability to make some well argued points that will trap anyone who reads this in the inescapable confines of a logic prison. (*fist bump* *fake explosion noise*)

For the backstory: in the podcast interview, Cam Newton said that, throughout his life, he has come to understand the difference between a woman and a bad b*tch. Citing that a, "bad b*tch is someone who looks the part," but at the end of the day, "you can't cook. You don't know when to be quiet. You don't know how to allow a man to lead." He described a woman as someone who is, "handling your own, but knowing how to cater to your man's needs."

*Pushes the unbridled rage into the deep recesses of my soul* LET'S UNPACK THIS. First of all, allow me to address the elephant in the room. This is an opinion more antiquated than time itself. The women in Game of Thrones are treated with more respect than this. The notion that a woman's place is in the kitchen has become so tired that it's more frequently brought up as a joke than as an actual way of thinking. This comment is approximately 100 years beyond the times. Catch up.

Furthermore, it is not, nor has it ever been, a woman's responsibility to, "cater to your man's needs." Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize that the entire conceptualization of women as their own beings with independent autonomy had to exist in relation to a man. Life for women IS in fact one massive failure of the Bechdel test. How foolish of me for not comprehending that before. I should just figure out when to be quiet. Brb, heading back to the kitchen.

*inhales*

Moving on to the language parsing segment of today's rant, Newton ENTIRELY mis-defines what a "bad b*tch" is. Urban Dictionary (yes, I'm going there), defines a Bad b*tch as, "A woman or female who is confident. She is independent and strives for herself. She doesn't need anybody and you would be lucky to have somebody. She can control herself and her feelings. She is also irresistible." It is a term owned by women. It is one that speaks to empowerment and being capable and confident enough to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

via GIPHY

Newton describes a "bad b*tch" as a woman prescribing to an aesthetic that cannot actually follow through on the stereotypical things a woman should be able to do.He is defining her based on her relationships with men whereby the exact definition of a bad b*tch suggests an independence from others in both action and relationships. Furthermore, when describing a woman as a, "bad b*tch," he makes sure to add, "I say b*tches in a way not to degrade a woman but to go off the aesthetic of what they deem is a 'boss chick.'" Oh, thank you for your concern. The use of the word, "b*tches," was really the thing that sent me reeling.

@zozoroe TAG A BAD BITCH #selflove #motivation #hockey ♬ River - Bishop Briggs

Sarcasm aside, Newton's prehistoric charge around the word, "b*tch," specifically "bad b*tch," is laughably incorrect. In the past ten years, women have entirely reclaimed the word "b*tch." We lovingly greet our friends with this word. Honestly, its more frequently used in the empowering "bad b*tch" context than it is in the original insulting way. No modern woman is insulted by being called a "bad b*tch". Take solace in the fact, Newton, that THAT is not the thing that we take issue with.

ON TOP OF THAT, the fact that he takes the time to CLARIFY that the thing he means to say by, "bad b*tch," is also synonymous with, "boss chick," is equally nonsensical and insulting. First of all, I believe the phrase he is looking for is, "girlboss." Are their inherent problems with the term, "girlboss," covering everything from problematic gatekeeping to the infantilizing patronization the label implies? Absolutely. There are actually directly contradictory definitions of the term "girlboss".

Urban Dictionary (Yes, I am going there again), defines, "girlboss," in one definition as, "someone who is lauded as being a feminist icon, despite the fact that they are actually extremely unpleasant or unfeminist." However, it is also defined as, "Someone with badass energy all around. Doesn't care what anyone says. Someone who is strong and confident. Someone who everyone looks up to," which, you may notice, bears a striking likeness to the definition of, "boss b*tch."

via GIPHY

While in the popular zeitgeist, the positive connotation behind "girlboss" has gone the way of the dinosaurs, it is fair to say that the reference that Newton makes to it is actually a criticism of the positive definition. The idea of a woman that can confidently take care of themselves, shine by themselves, and maintain ultimate self-sovereignty over their own lives is in direct contradiction of his flawed understanding of what women are.

We are on the fourth wave of feminism. The nonsensical interpretation of a woman based solely on her proximity, relationship, and behavior towards men is not only tired but baseless. The year is 2022. There is no excuse.

FORBYE, "bad b*tch," in it's true, modern understanding of the term- someone who can handle themselves, succeed on their own, does not dim themselves down for anyone, and doesn't let anyone tell them who they should be- IS SYNONYMOUS WITH BOTH BEING A WOMAN AND (oh gee, I don't know) A PERSON!

I hope this article has served to illustrate what has proven to be something difficult to understand: women are people. (mind blowing, I know).

via GIPHY

Oh! Just one more thing before I head back to the kitchen. One of Newton's main criticisms of the self-proclaimed bad b*tch was that, " You don't know how to allow a man to lead."

*a centering breath*

A leader doesn't need to ask other people to dim themselves in order to lead. A leader encourages everyone to shine to their full potential and has the confidence within themselves that they can guide everyone successfully. While it is upsettingly anachronistic to cling tightly to the ideology that it is a man's job to lead women, in a genderless comment on the ideals of leadership:

IF YOU WANT TO BE A LEADER, F*CKING LEAD.

...I think I remained very zen through this article, what do you think?

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Cam Newton