The Batman 2 Has Been Confirmed (Praise Be) So Here Is A Very Specific List Of Things I Would Like To See In The Sequel

Robert Pattinson is 100% My Batman.

It hasn't even been a full two months since Matt Reeves' The Batman rocked theaters with its huge, box-office-breaking opening weekend, but fans have already been whipped into a fervor debating how it figures into the overall "power ranking" lists of Batman Stuff: Best Batman, Best Bruce Wayne, Best Batman Films, et cetera et cetera. Online concensus has put Robert Pattinson more or less neck-and-neck with the wildly popular Christian Bale of The Dark Knight trilogy.

Fans who err more to the side of The Patman have been at a significant disadvantage when it comes to those lists, though, because Pattinson only has one movie to Bale's three.

As of last night, however, we know that won't be the case for too much longer.

Fans were overjoyed to hear Warner Bros. announce at their CinemaCon presentation last night that yes, The Batman is in fact getting a sequel - and that Robert Pattinson and the rest of the crew would all be retuning as well.

Though almost anyone who has seen the movie - and even many who have not - could have predicted this turn of events, the excitement from fans online was palpable soon after the announcement, as Robert Pattinson's name was sent trending on Twitter.

Some of these fans even offered suggestions for what they want to see out of the next Batman movie - and, as a major fan of Batman and of Pattinson's, I have a few suggestions of my own.

Here's what I, a 26-year-old woman who saw Twilight and The Dark Knight in theaters right smack in the middle of middle school, want to see out of The Batman 2 (or whatever they end up calling it. Personally, I like "The Patman.")

1. Give me a Robin. Any Robin. Just don't make him a grown-up.

I've loved Robin since I saw the OG Teen Titans cartoon as a kid. I loved him in Batman Forever. I love the very concept of Big Bad Broody Bruce having a cute lil sidekick.

I love that in some versions of the comics Bruce literally adopts an entire gaggle of orphaned children one by one and ends up with a house full of Robins of different ages as he grows older, becoming the New Dad he always needed.

I don't need The Patman to have a full-fledged sidekick by the end of the next movie - just the suggestion of one. Bruce going from self-careless disaster child to Suddenly Dad feels more like a three-movie arc anyway.

Actually, specifically, I think it'd be really cool if they made the mayor's son from the first movie into a Robin for him in this series.

We already know the two characters shared a connection, and if there was ever someone who could understand the pain that kid has been through, it's Bruce. He clearly sees a lot of himself in the young boy - there's a lot of potential there for a really meaningful bond between the two characters.

2. More Zoe Kravitz. More Catwoman. One love interest.

I get the instinct to make The Batman a womanizer, but that genuinely doesn't seem like this Bruce's thing. Not yet.

We already know that Robert Pattinson's Batman is definitely a virgin - and we all saw that first scene between the two of them, Zoe Kravitz's Catwoman awakened something there. It kinda only feels right that she should get to...enjoy the meal she prepped so well.

I'm also kinda getting sick of superhero movies that introduce me to a major female character only to pivot to an entirely new one in a different movie. Getting to know a woman and then finding out we only needed that info to contexutalize a man's struggle kinda majorly sucks.

3. Keep The Penguin Funny

Things have also been set up so that it looks like Colin Farrell's Penguin will be one of the major villains the next time around - it's likely he'll be taking over Falcone's operation now that the big man is dead.

I love this, because The Penguin may have been a minor villain this time around, but he was a fun one - I only hope that bringing him from a minor role into a more major one won't take away from how many surprisingly funny moments his character had.

We're guessing that this particular request will be no problem, because it seems like a lot of that can truly just be attributed to Colin Farrell's acting. He had some great one-liners that, simply because of his thick New York accent ("TAKE IT EASY, SWEETHEART!") and his emphatic, rapid-fire speech were so at odds with the tone of the rest of the film - as long as Farrell doesn't start playing the mobster darker, I like my odds for this one.

4. Give Me Awkward Baby Bruce Becoming...Basically Robert Pattinson

Much like Christian Bale's Bruce in Batman Begins, Robert Pattinson's is eventually going to learn that he has to give Bruce Wayne some kind of public persona - or sooner or later, people are going to start connecting the dots between the silent, broody bat who runs around at night beating up criminals, and the equally silent, broody orphan boy who is now a grown man they never ever see.

Here's the difference, though: Christian Bale's Batman was a rich himbo. A big, dumb, hot playboy who uses his vats of money to buy hotels and swim with models in their restaurant fountains - then pulls major corporate coups behind everyone's back. He was a fun Bruce, but I have a better, fresher idea for Rob's:

Just turn him into Robert Pattinson.

Seriously. Robert Pattinson is already known as an eccentric celebrity weirdo. (As an eccentric non-celebrity weirdo, I say this with all the love in the world.) He lies in interviews just for fun, to see how people would react.

This is 100% the kind of behavior that this iteration of Bruce Wayne would think was funny as hell. It's almost the only way I could see him being able to stand having to go through the social rituals of it all: If he can feel like he's pranking everyone while he's doing it.

Plus, it's the perfect cover. As soon as the newspapers run the story about Bruce Wayne creating a minor explosion in Wayne tower because he was "trying to invent a microwavable, handheld pasta dish," it will remove all suspicion that he and the guy who beat's all Gotham's worst criminals to a pulp in the night could EVER be the same guy.

5. Poison Ivy

Okay, I know we already have Batman villains out the wazoo set up for this film. And I don't need her to be a main villain - we can be introducing her for the next movie, kinda like we did with Barry Keoghan's Joker in this one. But adding Poison Ivy to these modern Batman films just kinda makes sense.

First of all, she's a very popular character right now. HBO's Harley Quinn animated series features her as a main character (and Harley's love interest), and everyone loves her. She's a femme fatale with a much harder edge than Catwoman - and watching them fight (and all the subtext that goes with it) would be very, very fun.

Plus, it's no secret that this iteration of Batman has a seriously political bent to it - the first film was all about government corruption and the veracity of local elections, as well as what happens when a political system really breaks down. (It's wild to realize that those January 6 parallels couldn't have been planned, because they were made before it ever happened.) It would be very easy to tie environmental issues in with that theme - there are plenty of causes in Gotham that could use the support of a friendly neighborhood eco-terrorist.

Plus, in a film full of hot people and made with all of the loving care that I recognize as the Bisexual Gaze, I can only imagine that whoever they cast as Poison Ivy would break all of our hearts.

Tags

Robert Pattinson, Matt Reeves, Zoe Kravitz, Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Barry Keoghan