'Jurassic World Dominion' Is A Constant Wink-At-The-Camera Mess That Points Out Its Own Shortcomings
Where to begin with Jurassic World: Dominion? Other than the fact that it plays like a fan film, with a weak Bond villain B plot so out of place it could have been saved for another film.
Starting where Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom left off, with the ludicrous notion that humanity needs to co-exist with the dinosaur blight that somehow spreads globally through the black market.
In the world we open on, dinosaurs can simply roam free, because annihilating the genetically created threat would be uncivilized. Instead, they chase children, attack beachgoers, and attack fishing vessels.
But this is not the actual story.
SPOILERS AHEAD.
The actual threat is the global extinction of humanity due to giant locusts which are beginning to breed at an alarming rate, disrupting the food chain in a way that will eventually wipe mankind out.
Why is this here? Was the threat of a booming DINOSAUR population not enough to keep butts in seats? Not for nothing, wouldn't the existence of creatures that eat a dump truck amount of vegetation a day cause food shortages?
No, we need Jurassic bugs.
This scourge turns out to be the brainchild of Biosyn CEO Lewis Dodson, played with nervous energy by Campbell Scott.
If that name sounds familiar, it should. Dodson was the character from the original Jurassic Park, who Wayne Knight was trying to steal the dino DNA for. Now working with B.D. Wong's Dr. Henry Wu, they have come up with a scheme to cause a food shortage, by using the bigs to eat every crop not genetically engineered by Biotech - thus being the only game in town to buy seed from.
Like I said, Bond villain.
(Editor's Note: It's also worth noting that trying to engineer their way around competition by destroying it is something the Monsanto Corporation - which controls most of the US food market - basically does. Not with giant bugs - their genetically engineered crops blow onto other farmers farms, and they use this as an excuse to sue them so hard they can just buy them out of business.
Bond-villain-y? Yes. Nonfiction? Sadly, also yes.)
Enter Dr. Ellie Satler (Laura Dern), who is investigating the locusts, only to drag Dr. Allan Grant (Sam Neill) with her to visit BioSyn, at the behest of Jeff Goldblum's Ian Malcolm - who now gives speeches to the workers at Biosyn's offshore facility about the dangers of messing with genetics.
What sense does that make? No clue, other than to disguise the evil plot by Dodson.
On to plot number three, where we find Maisie (Isabella Sermon), the cloned granddaughter of Lockwood (James Cromwell) from the last film. She has been hiding in the woods with Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), only to become kidnap bait - along with the offspring of Pratt's raptor Blue (who is just allowed to live in the wild without them worrying that she might EAT SOMEONE!)
Everything about this movie is a wink and a nod to the previous sequels. Jeff Goldblum literally points out everything that is wrong with the past films in his usual witty delivery.
Hell, when he is told that Howard used to run the Jurassic World theme park, his exact words are, "Not a fan." This leads me to believe even director Colin Treverrow has little faith in the mess he helped to create with these pointless sequels.
Soon, we are whisked away on a globe-trotting adventure through the world of dino-smuggling and underground raptor-fighting rings, as Owen and Claire team up with pilot/smuggler Kayla Watts (DeWanda Wise), who becomes the Han Solo of the film.
All of this culminates in all our main cast - past and present - arriving at Biosyn to rescue the clone and expose Dodson's scheme to the press.
This is the most nonsensical excuse to blend all the characters from the franchise simply because they could.
Jurassic World: Dominion plays as nothing more than a cash-grab tentpole that squanders the majesty of the original Jurassic Park - which never should have had a sequel to begin with. The original film was a perfect summer movie with the kind of magic rarely seen in cinema anymore.
To be fair, there are some fun moments that will grab the everyday moviegoer and Dominion is definitely better than its predecessor Fallen Kingdom, but it still doesn't hold water logically.
Countless times throughout, characters treat these man-eating beasts as if they cannot simply kill them if they threaten them. All too often, they have guns drawn, and rather than put a bullet in a creature hell-bent on eating them, they run or hold out a hand like they have some weird control over them. It's just stupid.
Hopefully, this will be the last we see of the tainted franchise for a while. Sometimes leaving something alone is best.
Would I recommend Jurassic World: Dominion? No. But then again, there are many who simply don't care that much about what is wrong with the current state of franchise overload and can shut off their brains for a two-hour-plus spectacle. Honestly, I envy them. If you're one of those people - or if you have no context for the other movies - you might enjoy this one.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be watching Jurassic Park and forgetting that anything ever came afterward.
