Season 3 of The Umbrella Academy premieres tomorrow, June 22, and ahead of the big Netflix drop, the Umbrella Academy instagram is filling us in on what we need to know about the seven (er, well, technically six) new characters we're about to meet.

Let's refresh: At the end of last season, after spending varied amounts of time trapped in the 1960s, our wayward gaggle of superpowered siblings finally managed to stop the new apocalypse they started and get back to their own time...but unfortunately, not their own timeline.

The Hargreeves siblings did manage to make it back to the present day, only to find their home occupied by seven strangers who call themselves the Sparrow Academy - or, technically six, given that one of them is their formerly dead brother Ben - and their very-much-alive father.

the umbrella academy the sparrow academy
Netflix

Now - according to the trailer - they've created some kind of paradox, one that's going to take ALL of them to stop. This, however, might be a problem, because, as Diego so eloquently put it, "they're all dickheads."

Let's meet these new dickheads, shall we? (That is, those of us who don't already know them from Gerard Way's Dark Horse comics.)

1. Marcus Hargreeves: The Leader

Our new Number One - Luther's counterpart in every way imaginable, it would seem - is Marcus Hargreeves. Marcus seems like a confident man of authority and action - whose fists can pack a pretty serious punch. While he may not have Luther's part-chimp DNA (thanks, Pogo) to help him out, he also seems to be missing his softer side, so that probably balances things out.

First impressions? Marcus doesn't like having his authority threatened, which is going to be a real problem here.

2. Ben Hargreeves: The Schemer

Next we move on to a familiar face - Sparrow Academy's Number Two is the Umbrella Academy's Number Six, Ben Hargreeves. Ben's power is the same, it would seem, in both universes - the ability to turn into a giant scary tentacle monster - though he likely has more control over it in this one, having lived longer. The big difference here is, apparently living longer has also transfromed Ben into a huge jerk. Referred to as "the schemer," this new Ben seems entirely unlike the even-toned, sarcastic ghost we've gotten to know: He's cocky, quick-tempered, and seems to have quite a mouth on him.

3. Fei Hargreeves: The Sharp Eyed

Fei Hargreeves may be blind, but that doesn't mean she can't see. Number Three as though she could be the namesake for the Sparrow Academy - she appears to hear using a sort of echolocation. The twist? It's echolocation using birds, which she can apparently just summon from her chest at random. Much like Alison, Fei seems to be their deadly ace-in-the-hole: She doesn't look threatening, but her power can be lethal in ways you don't expect. We wonder if she can also get those birds to attack people?

4. Alphonso Hargreeves: The Jokester

In keeping with the tradition of Number Four providing comic relief - because who else but Klaus could be considered the class clown of the Umbrella Academy - Alphonso Hargreeves is known as The Jokester because of his biting wit and his love of verbally berating his opponents.

Alphonso's powers are not immediately apparent from the small clip we were shown, but according to the source material (which we've been avoiding looking at as much as possible in the hopes of avoiding spoilers), he functions as a sort of human voodoo doll; he can inflict pain on others by inflicting it on himself. (Which might explain why his body and face seem so disfigured.)

5. Sloane Hargreeves: The Gravity Defier

At least THIS Number Five also has a real name to go by - otherwise things might have gotten extra confusing. Number Five in the Sparrow Academy is Sloane Hargreeves, who has the power to defy gravity - using her own body, or anyone and anything else.

From the few short clips we saw in her intro, it seems like she might be a little more bubbly and upbeat than her siblings. An image of her dancing away with a glass in her hand indicates she's probably one of the most fun-loving Hargreeves...ever.

6. Jayme Hargreeves: The Pessimist

Sloane may technically be Five's counterpart, but in attitude, it seems like it's all Jayme Hargreeves - Number Six, "The Pessimist." Her clips are all overlaid with sarcastic commentary and Done facial expressions that are a dead ringer for Five's - she, too, seems to be constantly dripping with disdain and always ready to fight if need be. As for her power, it seems like she must have the ability to shoot some kind of venom or poison at people from her mouth, almost like a viper - though the poison seems to be something less physical than you might find in the real world.

7. Christopher Hargreeves: The Chatterbox

This is the new Number Seven, Christopher Hargreeves. He's called the chatterbox. He's some kind of sentient, floating, glowing box creature. We don't think he speaks English. We're very excited to learn what his deal is.

We cannot wait to meet all seven of these new Hargreeves siblings - and Viktor Hargreeves, who will make his first appearance this season as well. (We know it's only one more day, but we've already finished our rewatch and we. Are. Dying.)

Tags
Umbrella Academy, Netflix, Elliot page, Gerard Way