Nikki Glaser Reveals All the 'Insane' Jokes that Were Cut From the Golden Globes
Nikki Glaser did not hold back when it came to the jokes she made on Jan. 5 when she hosted the 2025 Golden Globes.
However, not all of the jokes she had planned made it to air. In an interview with SiriusXM's The Howard Stern Show, Glaser shared what jokes didn't make the cut and they target everyone from Nicole Kidman to Jennifer Lopez and beyond.
"The Wild Robot is nominated tonight. And by that, I mean Nicole Kidman after two white wines," Glaser told host Howard Stern.
"If she makes a face, then ... [but] I think she would have been cool with it," she added.
A jab at Lopez and her rocky relationship with actor Ben Affleck also ended up on the cutting floor.
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"I almost said, like, 'Am I gonna roast or am I gonna toast? You know what? I'm not roasting. I'm gonna toast.' And I just did all these toasts that were roasts. Like, 'Here's to Ben Affleck, I can't wait to see which Jennifer you try to ruin next,'" her joke said.
"And I argued like, 'Oh, I didn't say ruin them. I said he tried to ruin them so it's not against them.' But I was like, 'That would have been insane,'" Glaser elaborated.
Timothée Chalamet was nominated for his role as Bob Dylan in the movie A Complete Unknown and her unreleased joke was more offensive than the one that made it to air.
"To sound like Bob Dylan, Timothée Chalamet took years of vocal lessons because, apparently, that's how long it takes to learn to smoke 40,000 cigarettes. Timothée took lessons in guitar, dialect movement and vocals to become Bob Dylan, while Bob Dylan became Bob Dylan the old-fashioned way – heroin and autism. Undiagnosed, but come on now, a lot of songs about trains," she shared.
The comedian did end up making a joke about Chalamet and his mustache during the opening monologue.
"You have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lips," she told the actor.
Glaser had her eyes set on the Only Murders in the Building crew, minus Selena Gomez in an axed joke where she mentioned Jake Paul and his fight against Mike Tyson.
"Only Murders in the Building is amazing. And I think it's so cool that legends like Steve Martin, Martin Short, Meryl Streep, we're still at it, putting up some of the best performances of their careers, and it's so inspiring. And it just goes to show you, you are never too old to still need money. Guys, please don't fight Jake Paul, please don't do it. Why are you still working so hard? Did you get caught up in Hawk Tuah girl's crypto scheme?" she would have quipped on air.
However, Gomez was not without criticism and her relationship with producer Benny Blanco was made fun of.
"She's here tonight with her new fiancé Benny Blanco. And Benny Blanco is here because of the genie who granted him that wish. Lucky guy," Glaser said in the live show.
Glaser also had words when it came to the movies Wicked and Queer.
"Daniel Craig is nominated for his performance in Queer, which is a movie and not just what my uncle Chuckie calls Wicked," she shared to Stern.
Wicked was of course not left unscathed from the jokes that made it to air.
"I did not know a lot about 'Wicked' going into this because I had friends in high school but I loved it. I loved it so much. My boyfriend loved it, my boyfriend's boyfriend really loved 'Wicked.' It was so much fun. It's so much fun seeing a musical in the theater," she said.
But perhaps the most brutal joke was about the ongoing Diddy drama that has enveloped Hollywood.
"The Golden Globes is the only show where you can see the biggest stars and movies and television joined together with the same goal — getting out of here tonight before Dax Shepard asked them to do his podcast," she began.
"This is the last time all of you will be in the same room together until the Diddy trial," she then added.
Glaser's opening monologue was received well on the internet and many people took the time to praise her jokes.
--Originally appeared on 'Music Times.'