Here Are 8 Fictional Companies Worse Than Facebook, For When You're Tired Of Reading About The Facebook Papers
Waking up this morning and finding out that Facebook was Evil All Along wasn't really a twist, but it was jarring all the same. Over the next few days, we are all probably going to become very familiar with the term "The Facebook Papers" - a dossier assembled by 17 independent news organizations based on redacted disclosures made by the company to the SEC, as well as internal documents from whistleblowers.
The series of reports details layers of corruption at Facebook, from a lack of action taken to stop known misinformation campaigns surrounding the 2020 election, to a near-total failure to stop human trafficking happening on their platform overseas.
It's disquieting knowing that a company so sewn into the fabric of our lives is so corrupt, but hey, it could always be worse. This definitely isn't the WORST timeline, because you could be living in any of these fictional universes, with corporations even more secretive, evil, and nefarious...we hope.
Here are eight of the most evil corporations from movies and TV.
Veridian Dynamics - 'Better Off Ted'
We don't really know what Veridian Dynamics from the show Better Off Ted is up to, but we know it can't be anything good. Their commercials sound like that meme where you feed a bot a bunch of scripts from one specific thing and see what it spits out.
Like, "I force fed a bot 87 hours of corporate commercials, then asked it to make one, here's what came out:" (Then play the video above.) It's more than a little unsettling, just enough so that you know that whatever they're doing is Not Right.
Soylent Corporation - 'Soylent Green'
There's not really anything eviler than selling people, people meat, and telling them it's food.
In the movie Soylent Green, the Earth has become overpopulated, and there isn't enough food to go around. The Soylent Corporation feeds people with their products Soylent Red and Soylent Yellow - which are made out of soy and lentils but don't taste very good. When they come out with Soylent Green, a better-tasting alternative, people are over the moon...until they find out it's not actually made of plankton, like they said. Soylent Green...is people. (Reprocessed dead bodies, to be specific.)
Oscorp - 'Spider-Man'
Throughout the Spider-Man comics and movies, Oscorp has different roles to play. Sometimes it's a totally corrupt company, like it was in the Amazing Spider-Man movies, while in others it's simply a front for Nolan Osborne to be able to moonlight as the Green Goblin. Regardless of its relative moral position, though, you can always count on Oscorp to bring the big, heavily mutated guns to the fight.
Evil Corp - 'Mr. Robot'
In the Amazon Prime series Mr. Robot, Rami Malek's character has conditioned himself to hear Evil Corp whenever somebody mentions E-Corp, the corporation responsible for the death of his father. It's a fitting name, too, as we discover over the course of the series that not only did this company's negligence (coughs in Facebook's general direction) cause employee deaths, they've had other effects too - which is why hacker genius Eliot Alderson and fsociety are determined to bring them down.
Buy N Large - 'WALL-E'
Pop Quiz: What do you call a mega-corporation that eats up smaller companies until it's the only one left?
If you answered Monopoly, you were probably paying attention in history class - but if you said Buy N Large, we're guessing you're a Pixar fan.
Buy N Large is the monopoly government-corporation that runs what we assume to be the US (at least) in the dystopian childrens' movie, WALL-E. Their love of consumerism and making money quickly turned the Earth into an unregulated trash dump that humanity had to leave - and they even secretly tried to keep them from ever returning. (Remember when we were afraid that Walmart was going to take over everything? Those were the days.)
Cyberdyne Systems - 'Terminator'
Throughout the Terminator series, we find out that the company Cyberyne Systems are the ones who were responsible for bringing Skynet to life - literally. They don't really do anything else that horrible, but when they create a complex AI system that has access to nuclear codes they sort of accidentally ruin the entire world. Should have thought that one through more, Cyberdyne. (Hey, at least Facebook doesn't have access to the launch codes, right? (Right?))
Globex - 'The Simpsons'
Nobody's really sure what exactly Globex founder Hank Scorpio was trying to do with his company, but seeing as he hired Homer to be his nuclear guy, it probably wasn't anything good. Or legal. He doesn't try to hide that either; his nice guy demeanor just kind of offsets it, even when he's clearly about to kill a James Bond type. He seems to generally want to take over the world, which, as far goals go, is the true bread-and-butter villain goal.
Still, at least he's nice to his employees and listens to their concerns. Evil company, nice guy. (So actually, maybe still better than Facebook - at least Scorpio was up front about everything.)
Paunch Burger (Owned by Sweetums) - 'Parks And Recreation'
There's a such thing as small-town evil, and in Pawnee Indiana from Parks & Recreation, Paunch burger is it. When Leslie tries to tax oversize sodas to encourage people to eat healthier, she makes an enemy for life in Paunch Burger, the greasy fast food restaurant that even the main characters can't help but enjoy. They get Leslie recalled, and even team up with Jamm to try and build a franchise location where she wants to build her park. Not cool, Paunch Burger. (And their parent company Sweetums isn't any better. The logo is actually the only difference.)
(Also, are they liquefying children? I wouldn't have thought so before, but Ms. Pinewood gives me pause here. Why do you know that?)