It Wasn't Just the Fight: The 8 Red Flags That Led Shayne and Natalie from Season 2 'Love is Blind' To Their Ultimate Demise!
[LOVE IS BLIND SEASON 2 SPOILERS AHEAD!!]
It wasn't just the fight.
Last Friday, the wedding episode of Love is Blind aired. Two couples have successfully moved on to married life: Danielle and Nick and Jarrette and Iyanna. Of this season's selection, we could not be happier for those that made it all the way to the end. We can't wait for the recap episode to see what came of their journeys.
However, many took the "I Do" moment and made it an "I Don't". I had my predictions, and honestly, I was so wrong on most of them. *Sigh*, we move on.
Deepti and Shake and Mallory and Salvador were among those who did not make it to the end. I think the most fascinating split is that which went on between Natalie and Shayne. In the two other relationships, the couples cited either a need to know the other person better or the knowledge that they were just not right (YES DEEPTI!). Yet, Natalie and Shayne pointed to something far more immediate as the reason for the ultimate rejection.
The night before the wedding the two got into a major fight. Words were spoken which could not be taken back, and this ultimately led to the rejection at the altar. While many are left upset, sighing at the unfortunate timing of the fight, the reality of the situation is this:
There were problems in their relationship long before the fight.
If you pay extra close attention to their relationship from the beginning, it reads as more of a red-flag raising factory than a true testament to the fact that love is blind. Here are eight red flags that went up throughout the relationship between Shayne and Natalie that hindered their ability to make their way to marriage.
Red Flag #1
The pods are clearly all about communication, but, somehow, theirs was still slightly off. Shayne was obviously torn for a while between Natalie and Shaina. On multiple occasions, Shayne told Natalie that he was interested in only her and then, when confronted by Shaina, would back peddle on these claims. At one point he actually confused Shaina and Natalie in the pods.
I'm not saying that he was lying or that this was done maliciously. These actions just scream of someone who doesn't want to upset anyone and is saying whatever needs to be said to keep everyone happy. Shayne, at his core, is a people pleaser. Rather than giving himself a second to figure out what he really wants and be clear about it, Shayne has continues to scramble, trying to comfort Natalie by giving her what she wants. (Which is a red flag that sets the stage for the raising of even more red flags later)
Red Flag #2
While Shayne definitely yes-maned Natalie, Natalie pushed him to. When they were in the pods, the time when they were going around, talking to everyone, Natalie was constantly asking for commitment from Shayne. When it was obvious to the viewer that Shayne did not in fact give his full and non-negotiable commitment but instead just enough to keep Natalie from being upset, Natalie took the slight approval that was given her and ran back to the room, telling everyone that they were, "practically engaged." This power-move tactic forced the relationship further than she had actually been confirmed in by Shayne.
However, it did serve the competitive purpose of keeping Shaina away from Shayne. Without stretching, Natalie pushed Shayne into commitment, and Shayne rolled over to keep her happy. Am I criticizing Natalie's forcefulness? Not at ALL! She is a self-confident individual who knows what she wants. Honestly, it's admirable. The issue is that because Shayne was bending to everything rather than giving her an equal partner who could converse with her, the power dynamic in the relationship was skewed from the onset.
Red Flag #3
This problematic power dynamic became increasingly problematic as they left the pods. Natalie was constantly talking about things that Shayne would need to change. Natalie said in regards to Shayne's living habits, "I know about Shayne's nighttime routine. I know that he sleeps with the TV and eats in bed, and that's my worst nightmare, so we're going to have to figure that out tonight...You think I'll ever eat in my bed? Look at me. Nothing touches my bed. I have white sheets at home."
While grappling with a change in sleeping habits is not that unusual, this moment is indicative of many that Natalie and Shayne continued to face through the show. Natalie continued looked at Shayne not as a partner but as a project, operating from the grounds that she was right and, in time, would be able to fix him. If that's not a red flag, I'm not sure what is.
Red Flag #4
It's far easier in these moments to vilify Natalie simply because she was the more outspoken of the two, but Shayne's consistent yes-manning and lack of communication is a red flag in its own right. In a recent interview, Natalie said that she did not actually know the extent of the relationship between Shayne and Shaina. "I wasn't aware of the connection Shaina and Shayne had in the pods...At that time, I did ask them if there was anything going on - and I never got a straight answer on that. So seeing it on the show, and really getting that inside look, was a surprise to me."
In the same interview, Natalie said that, until watching the show, she never knew the extent of the beach conversation between Shayne and Shaina. Other couples found interests elsewhere, including Mallory and Salvador and Jarette and Iyanna, but in both those couples, the previous interests were openly discussed and dealt with. Therefore, the fact that Natalie felt in the dark about this major issue further exemplifies how little Shayne was communicating with her and *HOT TAKE* Communication is important in relationships.
Red Flag #5
Natalie did not listen to Shayne. As Shayne in her own way seemed to accept his role as a project, Natalie was able to continue prioritizing her own thoughts and feelings rather than trying to understand his. When the two talked about the wedding, he only had two things he wanted: a fountain that pours out old fashions and cheese curds. Natalie quickly followed that up by pointing out that no one in her family drinks and everyone is lactose intolerant. Shayne said he wanted to travel and go out, and Natalie said they needed to stop doing that and talk about investing.
Regardless of whose side of the conversation you are on, whenever Shayne finally spoke up about something that excited him, Natalie quickly shut him down. Shayne allowed himself to look to Natalie like the idea of what her boyfriend and husband should be without actually seeing Shayne for who he was.
Red Flag #6
Natalie was constantly making jokes that Shayne didn't appreciate, and Shayne said nothing about them. Natalie made consistent jabs about Shayne's appearance. When the two were on the beach, Shayne jokingly asked Natalie, "Do you think I'm pretty?" and Natalie replied, "Not really, I'm just," and finished it off with a laugh. Shayne, however, openly said, "Stop doing that. I'm trying to have a f***ing conversation." However, her jokes continued.
This harkens back to her not actually hearing Shayne or listening to what he wants. This further leads to the feeling that Shayne expressed which is that he constantly felt like he had to prove himself in their relationship, which is a major factor that led to their fallout.
Red Flag #7
No, this did not happen because of their actions in the relationship, but Shayne's reaction to striking out during the baseball game was alarming and should be considered a red flag for a variety of reasons. First of all, his being a sore loser in a big way suggests that there will be problems going forward with someone who has such a strong and even tempered grip on her emotions like Natalie. They may emote in such drastically different ways that it no longer helps the other person, it actually hurts them.
Furthermore, while it is likely that Shayne in some capacity is bad at losing all the time, the timing would suggest that he actually is misplacing his feelings of aggravation in his relationship with Natalie and projecting them onto the game. He wanted to win Love is Blind, but he couldn't help the feeling that he ultimately struck out, but he was not able to communicate those frustrations to her. It's a red flag AND a metaphor.
Red Flag #8
People say a lot of things during fights. Yet, saying, "I hate you," and, "You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me," are shocking things to say to your fiance the night before your wedding. While people constantly say things they don't mean, there does tend to be a kernel of truth. Even if there was no truth in what Shayne said to Natalie, that would mean he was just saying those things to hurt her which is arguably worse.
This fight was born out of the flags you see above: Natalie was constantly chipping away at Shayne, and, because Shayne did not do a good job communicating during the relationship, he finally exploded, and the pieces went everywhere. A lack of honest communication, both in terms of sharing and listening, was the true downfall of this couple.
Some people just aren't meant to be in a relationship together. They can be two, lovely people who just happen to mix like oil and water. Recent Instagram posts from both prove that there is no animosity between Natalie and Shane. They are happy for their experiences and memories with the other person. They just realized for themselves that love was not in fact blind.
