She has been a fan favorite character on TLC's Breaking Amish and Return to Amish, and now, Mamma Mary Schmucker is admitting to a shocking secret from her past.

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The matriarch of the Schmucker family from the original cast was doing interview recaps of each episode from the newest cast's season of the show, and in her recap of the group's season finale, she admitted that there are reasons why she bends the rules set by the Amish church now and sympathizes with the struggles these younger kids face-because she herself has even gone English in her past and didn't initially intend on returning to the Amish life.

Mary made the confession while talking about new cast member Matt's decision not to raise his newborn daughter Amish, after he himself chose to leave the community.

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"I love being Amish. I know that I was raised Amish. But I also know what I went through to get where I am now," she said. "It wasn't easy; it was hard for people to forgive me for what I did. A lot of times, I just had to ignore them and just go on."

"When I was 17, I left the Amish," she continued. "I came back because I didn't have a place to be and I didn't have any money. The first place you look for at that point is home."

Further, she admitted that while she is happy being Amish, the fact that half her family has joined the English world while others remained in the Amish community has made things difficult for her.

"Yes and no," she answered when asked if she was happy with her decision to go back Amish. "I'm happy that I have a happy home and that I have everything I want, but I have half my family in the English world and half in the Amish. That makes it really hard."

A new season of Breaking Amish, starring the original cast once again, is expected to air within the next year, though no announcements have been made by TLC.

Tags
Breaking Amish, TLC, Reality TV